The Chorus Speaks of Itself

Exit Thomas Sterns. Stet the Sharks and the Girls.

The Sharks.
in unison
O, he is troubled, he is troubled indeed. His loyalties prey upon his mind. Who shall unmaze this riddle?

Crystal.
What’s he gonna do, give himself an ulcer choosing between Betty and Veronica?

Bernardo.
Where shall be found the place of peace?

Ronette.
An emergency room, honey.

Indio.
O, surely not! He is the most pacific of men.

Chiffon.
He’s sexier than the Wolfman on the radio. You’re gonna pick him to death.

The Sharks fall out of formation and scatter over the stage in exuberant frustration. Much random singing and dancing; the songs and dances interact in strange ways. They heckle the Girls, each according to his fancy. Crystal to stage left, Ronette to front center, Chiffon to stage right.

The Girls.
singing (sarcastically) I Wanna Love Him So Bad by The Jelly Beans
I can’t help it — I wanna love him so bad.

Crystal.
I know his name.

Ronette & Chiffon.
(His name is Jim.)

Ronette.
I can’t be blamed.

Crystal & Chiffon.
(for loving him.)

Chiffon.
I could make him happy.

Crystal & Ronette.
(oh, yeah?)

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