Lisa Renahn

Lisa Renahn finds a baby in a dumpster.
It’s still alive, which surprises her.
And surprisingly healthy!
“I’m going to name you Lisa Renahn,” she tells it.
It’s her favorite name.
The baby just screams and kicks fat legs at her.
“Shut up, what do you know?” she scolds.

Anyway, she takes the baby, Lisa Renahn does.
“You’re the Christ,” she tells it.
The baby wails and looks cross.
“The Christ doesn’t need food!”
But she feels kind of bad so she feeds it iceberg lettuce and watermelon.
Which doesn’t please Lisa Renahn but she can’t complain, she’s a baby.

Out of sheer desperation Lisa Renahn learns how to transmutate things.
Shazam!
In her mouth, lettuce becomes milk.
Watermelon becomes wine, though, which causes problems.
Drunk, she gets belligerent.
Which doesn’t bode well for Lisa Renahn.
“I pulled you out of the dumpster,” she complains.
Shazam!
Lisa Renahn is made out of bread.
She complains, but only crumbs come out.

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